now that i am unemployed, i should be able to update more often. not that when i was working it was a lot of hours anyway. a week ago today i snapped. never mix business with family. lesson learned and that's all i feel necessary to share about it.
so before i met nick (who is quite a few years older than i am) was very irresponsible with money in his early twenties and now it has come back with a bang all at once. garnishments, subpoenas, etc. he really had no other choice than to file for bankruptcy. the lawyer was extremely expensive, but in the end was worth it. unfortunately we had to sell nick's car to pay for all the filing fees and general expense of a lawyer. down to only one car it was difficult to find a work schedule that worked for all of us. we finally found a schedule and then i ended up not being able to handle the stress anymore and left my job. it had been boiling in my blood for a while and i finally just couldn't take it anymore.
and while i hated the job, i don't much like sitting at home all day. it's a constant battle to not eat the entire fridge when i'm home all day with just andrew. the one car dilemma doesn't make it any easier to find a new job. i've looked, but most jobs need you to be very flexible on hours and it's hard to do that when you're sharing a vehicle. once nick gets another car i will be more aggressive in my job search. i am very thankful to have this time to just bond with andrew and not be forced into another job just to make ends meet. now that the debt is behind us we can do that. we have been current with every new bill we've taken on together. but you can't control the past. i was planning on taking the summer off from work anyway. just ended up doing it a few months early.
the one big downfall to all of this was that we have been planning a family vacation to california ever since we found out we were pregnant so our baby could meet nick's side of the family and i could finally meet his mother. however, all of our savings went into the fee for the lawyer so we might end up having to postpone our trip for the middle to end of next month. very disappointing, however it would be foolish to spend all the money we do have to get down there and come back and not be able to survive once we're back up here. we've never lived paycheck to paycheck and it would be a struggle. the tickets are already paid for so it would just be a matter of changing flights. but nothing is set in stone. if nick says he doesn't want to wait, then we'll go.
this weekend we are going to great wolf lodge with almost my entire family. this trip is already paid for as well and the dates cannot be changed. plus all we need to buy is swim diapers and gas to drive down to grand mound so that's why we are not postponing this trip. i am extremely excited. it's the perfect setting for andrew's first water park experience: not too cold (84 degrees all the time) and no UV rays (: my mom bought him the cutest cars swim trunks (which nick picked, i wanted thomas the train) and an orange infant life jacket. this kid is soo spoiled it's ridiculous!
other than that, things have been going very smoothly. andrew is now in his non-portable rear facing carseat since he outgrew his carrier and base. he's a little porker. he loves french fries and refried beans. last night he threw his first real tantrum when i wouldn't let him have anymore of my vanilla ice cream. meanwhile, he's growing up to be a very independent little boy. he enjoys playing by himself with a floor full of toys. he butt-scoots and rolls around. he gets around very impressively without having actually learned to crawl. i've started planning his first birthday party. i wanted to have it at our house by the pond, but parking is so limited here it was just impossible. so i've decided on manchester state park since it's closer to both of our families. it's going to be a toy story theme and i am very excited about it.
not much else going on in our life except my unemployment status makes me very uncertain of any future nuptials between nick and i. i somehow don't feel complete as a mother, a family or a lover without this validation. it may not make sense to anyone else, but it's very important to me. and it feels unfairly out of my reach.
