haven't posted in a while. things have been really difficult lately. this last week was pure hell. nick and i were fighting, my family is now split in two and now andrew has to have eye surgery. it's been a lot to deal with.
sunday before last we were due at my dad's house for homemade pizza and margaritas (non-alcohol for me of course). however, that morning nick and i had gotten off to a bad start and he didn't want to go with me since we were fighting. but i pushed him to go and it was such a mistake. i thought things would blow over in the car since it's over an hour drive. but it didn't and we fought the whole time. i ended up going to stay at my mom's the next day and stayed for a while. then nick and i made up and he took andrew and i to the point defiance zoo. and even though i truly enjoyed all three of us being together again that zoo plain sucks. either you can't see the animals or they're just laying there like they're depressed. it was really rather sad ):
the next sunday was mother's day and since the whole fight between nick and i and my family being dragged into it nobody wanted to see each other at the bbq at my mom's house which was also my sister's twenty-third birthday party. i had a nice time, but it felt weird without nick being there. but my dad was there and my uncle who i don't get to see very often. andrew finally got his eater presents from my dad, mom and nana. my nana got him a wagon with beach toys in it and my mom got him a bunch of outfits and bath toys which i left at her house since we don't have a bath here (i think she did that on purpose, lol). and my dad got him a ninja blender off the infomercial which was really a gift for me, haha. and for mother's day my mom got me flowers, my nana got me a picture frame and my dad got me an oversized coffee cup and painted number one mom on it (: i made broccoli baby food for andrew with the ninja and nick and i made milkshakes. it works like a dream. in the end my family and nick better get over their issues in time for andrew's first birthday party.
so yesterday i took andrew to his eye doctor appointment. i had lost his binky earlier that morning so it wasn't the easiest appointment. but after examining him, dilating his eyes with eye drops and examining him again, the doctor concluded that andrew needs muscle corrective surgery since both his eyes are affected (which means a patch wouldn't help). i guess his eye muscles closest to his nose are pulling his eyes in ward and his eyes need to see straight in order for his brain to learn to use them together. it's crucial for it to be done at an early age and the earlier the better. i'm still terrified by the idea ): i know it's the right thing to do. i just hope nothing goes wrong. my cousin had this done about ten years ago on one of her eyes and it really helped. nick took his surgery day off and the day after off and then it'll be the weekend so i won't have to take him by myself.
andrew's surgery had forced nick and i to call our own health into question. nick has high blood pressure which is hereditary and hasn't done anything about it. i'm also concerned he's at risk for diabetes. i'm making him go to the doctor on friday. i'm also wondering if i should go back on my anti-depressants. i've battled depression since i was fourteen, but i think the postpartum has just intensified it. either that or i'm bipolar. all i know is i need a mental health evaluation and some drugs. i don't believe in talk therapy.
